Here I lay restless, tired, my mind unable to distinguish between what I want and what I need.
I've been here longer than most, so has she the woman of my dreams.
I dreamt of her when I was a boy becoming a teen, and here I lie frothing and writhing in pain as if icy claws draw me near to deaths door.
Oh how I've prayed to be near her to hold her, those of you who've been parted from your spouse near a decade can only compare, as we've been parted our 8 years.
Cherished lived ones withered and passed, newfound friends only bring suspicion to my eyes, what bond are they trying to Connect me to, I won't have it.
Stay far from me as my curse is real, I bring death with me as I walk, those I love I bring pain.
To those who hate me I cannot change, I lie here awake writhing in pain.
Fading beauty lost long ago but I see deep into your cold sunken eyes, how lonely you are, how lost you feel.
I search around me looking to find that youthful combustion of energy I once felt, I find it in a drug. God how much more lost I become I work endlessly never a day off, 365 days for 7 years with nothing to show for.
I love everyone, I keep nothing.
Yet I lie here alone, writhing in pain.
Tears shed do nothing as I hide them in my shame, a simple touch. Just a touch, I haven't felt a touch a hug a handshake, in 8 years, I live in solitude, I work in solitude. half a decade before today, I accidentally bumped my hand near a female hand and every hair on my body stood awaken, how silly such a small touch rendered me speechless, to her an everyday experience.
I still lie here awake, writhing in pain.
Alone I've been, alone I'll be, I know this, but I never dreamt it would be this long, as I lie here with those icy claws beckoning me, writhing in pain I scream silently in my mind, my heart, screaming begging for mercy, as I lie here writhing in... Pain...