i am in ashes for too long
oh god i can't even
remember the flame i thought i used to be

there was a fire
but now i'm just coughing
up smoke and cold from the
insides of my bones and i
wish i could just keep a little
warmth within
just enough to breathe a little
more

than whatever this is
crushing my lungs and draining
me so dry
i can't ******* breathe at night
when holding myself
chills me from head to toe and
i'd give anything for a little spark
in my fingers
just until the dawn
just so i can
watch myself set alight

every single ******* night