It gets worse when I'm being still
Sitting down
Being calm
Trying to relax
What's the point in writing about how I feel
It doesn't help me
What I really want is to bury the way I feel
So that I can maybe forget a bit
the severity
Anything I do either makes no impact or makes it worse
The good thing is
I can sleep better now
like at any moment I could sleep
just give me an opportunity and I'll take it
give me a bed and I'll lay in it
It's being awake that's hard
If you want to know what it's like
Everything is flickering
dimming
drowning
Nothing is peace
Nothing makes sense
Chaos
Flashing and flickering
My eyes feel like they're injected with novocaine
I can't make them really do
what I need them to do
it's scary
It could be not my eyes
It could be my brain
But I can't think like that
that's scary
My heart also
beats strangely
I don't know what I got
but it's bad
and I don't know if it will end