I got your **** right here darlin’

My jaw is the hardest workin’ part of my body

And it never ceases to ***** chomp

Like premature bear trap

I mean lover,

I’ll sing you songs under the covers while you sleep

And wake you up

While standing over you lookin’ possessed like a bad horror film

The light from outside blinds you and blacks out my front

And maybe you won’t ever talk to me again

Been known to do that

Scare people off

With everything I do

This aint neediness love,

I just get so excited when you talk to me

Like a kid ready to run his mouth about his day

Me?

I’ll ***** talk your head off

And dance naked in the daylight before I leave

Make you coffee and eggs in the morning because

I can never sleep

Two eggs over easy, a sausage, and some hash browns

I call it my ******* continental

Please laugh for me one more time before I go

Thought there’d be more humor in my breakfast

That’s when you tell me that you can never be with somebody who can never take life seriously

Woman,

I’ll take you so seriously

Like the clap and the ***** we might’a traded

I don’t put people on pedestals because

I like things I can actually reach

Actually hold at night while they fall asleep

Let’s make a baby

Name him Norman

You know I am serious

About the name

not the baby

I’m not a father figure even though my figure aint good for much

Got it in sad clown college

It’s the one people go to when they want to make people laugh

Not because they want people to be happy

But because it’s the only way to get anyone to like them

Just when you tell your friends later

About that one time that I was your lover

Remember

I never wanted to be anywhere close to the best you had

I only wanted to be your favorite

The guy who can make you laugh and moan at the same time

And pluck your heartstring like a frustrated lullaby

The only guy who can actually make your breakfast *****

And then write you poetry