time’s going really ******* fast today, always in all the wrong ways it’s running out and it’s running away it’s 10:52 PM and i’m trying to start over like i’ve got a revolver to my ribcage it’s 11:00 PM and i don’t want to see anyone i know ever again, i want to get a car and keep driving down I-70 until i learn how, until my hands never shake again it’s 11:14 PM and i missed 11:11 again it’s 12:01 AM and as i’m fine now, i just don’t want to talk about it it’s morning now and the sun sets in your eyes and it rises in another’s and it’s funny how things change and it’s funny how things stay exactly the same this is the difference between a collision course and a test run and a poem a day keep your demons at bay or it draws them close, up under your skin and lets them in a poem a day keeps insanity away let me repeat: i am only as good as the demons i defeat and if the monsters make me one of them, i am only as good as what i’ve become i am only as good as what i’ve done i am only as good as what i haven't done sometimes i think when you bet against the world, the world bets against you it’s just how it is it’s probably karma or something like that, but i’ve given up on reasoning for reasons and i guess when you’re a non-believer sometimes no one wants to believe in you i kind of think i’ll be desperately lonely no matter who i’m with i think i’m on of those people who was born a little bit lonely i think i’ll never be completely okay with that but i think that’s okay i’m just a stranger in my skin and nobody really makes me feel at home anymore and i think some days are longer than others and i think it’s just never the ones you want it to be