I remember when I lost myself. I was living to impress people who didn’t care whether I lived or died. It got to the point where you look in the mirror and you don’t recognize yourself. A friend of mine came over one night a long time ago because I was depressed. We talked about how I felt conflicted because I wanted to be myself to the fullest all the while still want to impress everybody else. I wasn’t happy at all. My friend stood me in front of my bathroom mirror and said "Mandie, look at yourself, do you like who you see in the mirror? If you do then you got nothing to worry about, if you don’t then there is a problem and you need to fix it before it’s too late. Do you know who you are?“ I looked at myself and I started to cry because I didn’t like who I saw, not because I thought I was ugly but because the kind of person I was at the time was not me. What scared me the though was not being able to put myself into words. I would describe myself but I wasn’t describing me I was describing my friends and their traits because I did everything to please them. In my past relationships I did stuff to impress whoever I was with because I wanted that person to like me. I had to change. So I cut myself off from everything, spent weeks alone, writing goals and things I wanted to change about myself. When I went to the store for clothes I taught myself to buy stuff I wanted to wear not what my friends wanted me to wear. Slowly I started letting my "friends” see the changes I was making and instead of supporting me they got mad because I wasn’t living my life according to their standards. So I lost friends. So what? Over time I found myself happier, confident, I wasn’t dealing with drama and I made some new friends, friends who were in my shoes and didn’t have anyone to cheer them on through their challenges. It took me a very long time to find myself and I guess I am still finding myself but breaking free from everyone’s expectations is on my list of the best choices I ever made.