I spilled a *** of coffee on myself at 2 in the afternoon.
I let it sizzle on my skin for a moment;
The burn told me I was alive.
It reminded me of you.

You were the oxygen I took into
My carbon dioxide lungs.
You were the long drag on the cigarette of my depression,
A choking relief.
Hopelessly addicted to you,
A ****** for your touch,
Obsessed with the pictures of you on my phone.
******* butterflies in my stomach,
Restless and destructive,
I longed for your presence every waking moment
In a bed built for two.

I made myself another *** of coffee,
Was careful not to let it spill.
I didn’t want to feel your devilish fingertips
Singeing my porcelain skin.
You left enough scars on me already.