I still love you
or at least I still love that girl
that I met, the one who played with bugs
and was so fluttery herself.
I've written this before
this lacks any spark
I've taken this fall before
this lacks any treachery
I've blurted this apology before
this lacks any meaning
But if I could take the he
out of them
and leave a speakable word,
I would say it with you
and if I could take the last four months
out of forever
I would die to do it

I needed a rock but all I found was rock bottom
No one could have stopped me
I was so determined to find it
Maybe a failure doesn't bounce
until he hits the ground
but I'm not sure I want to live with the bruises
Hurting you is the deepest
darkest
largest bruise that I covet
and I use that word for a reason
Its not right how close I come to wanting
what I hate
Some of these walls are learned
but they're all self made
including the one that stands between my heart
and yours
and right now
the person I am would trade everything he has
for the knowledge possessed
by an expertly trained demolitions team
but HE CANT
and he knows good and well
that if he did
the person he becomes in those few
candlelight hours of slumber
between today and tomorrow
would only use the stolen craft
to come crashing down on himself
and on you