I tried
I tried to hold it in
I tried not to interrupt
I wish I was nothing
Why can't I be a shadow
Getting lost behind movement
Fading into the background
I tried to hide the monster inside of me
It just promised to come out
The shadows ripped it out with their teeth
My teacher thought I was being dramatic maybe she would get it if she was locked in my mind for a day.
It has ups and downs
Why is anything there
I wish that I could disappear into nothing
No future
No past
It sounds sad
But relaxing
I know this is a jumbled mess
This is post anxiety attack
Sorry I'm trying to calm down
To talk reasonably with myself
I can't
All it comes back to is how I break everything.
Well I guess this poem doesn't have an end.
It wasn't really a poem anyways.