“Is it the nicotine, or the Svedka? It’s barely midnight, and I’m already exhausted. I’ve been up and down 309 about a hundred times today, and I’m looking to go a hundred times more. I got an English paper due Friday, but I’m still drinking Thursday. A friend is eight shots in, with eight shots to go. We are the harbingers of our own demise. Here’s to the nights we remember. And here’s to the nights we’d rather not.”