When I Smoke

Makes me feel like I'm out of this world when I want to leave it
Constantly asking myself if I know who I am why won't I be it?
Scared to fail
To look stupid
Desperately trying to see into my own future
Worried that things will stay the same
Crying because I miss "what's his name"
Questioning if this habit has made me deranged

But when I'm sober I'm steadily guided by my faith
Motivated to follow a path that I know only God can create
Second guessing any decisions that I make
The burden of depression sometimes is hard to take
But I know God believes in me every morning that I awake