Jul 2011
The whitening lightening
The appearance of ghosts
Are to me not frightening
Just thoughts though they last
Those pieces of the past
The stones I have cast
In the oceans of time.
When we all wore that sign that said beware
Those who go there dare look into the fires of hell
And with the coins of their souls sell their life as well they might.
My nightmares in the night remind me of darker days
When I became those ways
Those stygian deeds and the wasting seeds of minutes that tick
When I being sick of the sight of me.
Took a hammer,
Busted my knees, my feet my face.
I had to get out of that place
So I howled at the moon hoping that soon
The pain would quicken make I sicken for something good.
Would that it could but it did not,
And what have I got?
Broken bones busted face ghosts laughing back at my place.
I can't escape
I'm locked into my fate
Imprisoned by yesterday and so I lay on my pillow
And weep like a willow.
Sinking in my tears
******* on my fears.
And those that were near are so far away.
Removed from this Earth to a spiritual rebirth.
But It dont help me Because what can I see?
The widening chasm
The spastic ******
The inevitable starvation
I can't see my salvation in here or in there
But what the hell do I care
I'll go back in the trap and that will be that.
But.
I know there's a key
That will set me free
First I have to find the lock
I have to be a rock
Take the sand from my eyes wake up and realise
If I don't do it now Then It's Adios John
Kapow.
The lights go out the clocks don't chime
But then I will mime in some other place
Far removed from this race
On a seat beside those who went before
When life was spent in laughter and song.
Now I know why I long
To jump in the lake partake of the death after life
That life after death
The stuttering breath that cleanses the brain
But it's all the same just a different phase
Like some mist in the haze when my head's in a daze.
It seemed I swallowed the sun and it stopped all the fun
Then It smashed all my hopes and put me down on the ropes.
It cannot be denied that I have defied
Some obscure deity with my contrived gaiety.
But now I'm back in the zone
I want to go home
I feel so alone
In the midst of a crowd I want to shout loud
Give me a hug all they do is shrug
And say another mad druggie looking for a huggie.
I say kiss my *** because you're not in my class.
Yet again I don't care
Because I'm no longer there
I'm in the whitening lightening and the ghosts in my flat
Go rat a tat tat as they knock on my door
Kick me down to the floor till I beg them desist
They know that I missed
Them all.
They are my friends until my life ends
Until I'm with them forever in the day that is never
Night.
John Smallshaw 2010.
The appearance of ghosts
Are to me not frightening
Just thoughts though they last
Those pieces of the past
The stones I have cast
In the oceans of time.
When we all wore that sign that said beware
Those who go there dare look into the fires of hell
And with the coins of their souls sell their life as well they might.
My nightmares in the night remind me of darker days
When I became those ways
Those stygian deeds and the wasting seeds of minutes that tick
When I being sick of the sight of me.
Took a hammer,
Busted my knees, my feet my face.
I had to get out of that place
So I howled at the moon hoping that soon
The pain would quicken make I sicken for something good.
Would that it could but it did not,
And what have I got?
Broken bones busted face ghosts laughing back at my place.
I can't escape
I'm locked into my fate
Imprisoned by yesterday and so I lay on my pillow
And weep like a willow.
Sinking in my tears
******* on my fears.
And those that were near are so far away.
Removed from this Earth to a spiritual rebirth.
But It dont help me Because what can I see?
The widening chasm
The spastic ******
The inevitable starvation
I can't see my salvation in here or in there
But what the hell do I care
I'll go back in the trap and that will be that.
But.
I know there's a key
That will set me free
First I have to find the lock
I have to be a rock
Take the sand from my eyes wake up and realise
If I don't do it now Then It's Adios John
Kapow.
The lights go out the clocks don't chime
But then I will mime in some other place
Far removed from this race
On a seat beside those who went before
When life was spent in laughter and song.
Now I know why I long
To jump in the lake partake of the death after life
That life after death
The stuttering breath that cleanses the brain
But it's all the same just a different phase
Like some mist in the haze when my head's in a daze.
It seemed I swallowed the sun and it stopped all the fun
Then It smashed all my hopes and put me down on the ropes.
It cannot be denied that I have defied
Some obscure deity with my contrived gaiety.
But now I'm back in the zone
I want to go home
I feel so alone
In the midst of a crowd I want to shout loud
Give me a hug all they do is shrug
And say another mad druggie looking for a huggie.
I say kiss my *** because you're not in my class.
Yet again I don't care
Because I'm no longer there
I'm in the whitening lightening and the ghosts in my flat
Go rat a tat tat as they knock on my door
Kick me down to the floor till I beg them desist
They know that I missed
Them all.
They are my friends until my life ends
Until I'm with them forever in the day that is never
Night.
John Smallshaw 2010.
