My girlfriend is upset,
and I have no idea why
For some reason she's mad,
and for some reason I made her cry

I tried to calm her down,
but she wouldn't look at my face
She told me to leave her alone,
and that I'm a rotten disgrace

I tried to speak to her,
but she did not want to tell
I tried to ask her what went wrong,
but she told me to go to hell

She did not cook me dinner,
so we ate Chinese take-out
I tried to smile and start a conversation,
but she just sat there with her pout

I wonder what I must have done,
to unleash such unholy wrath
I tried to figure it out,
I tried to do the Math

My girlfriend was trying to **** me,
and settle some unknown score
She tried to hit me with a frying pan,
and chase me out the door

I fear for my life,
my girlfriend has turned into a witch
Now she's got a chainsaw,
and she just turned on the switch

Her eyes were glowing red,
and she spat out blasphemy
She came at me with the chainsaw,
and I almost jumped out the balcony

I never saw her this worked up,
I must really be at severe fault
She was always so loving and kind,
but now all those things were at a halt

I tried to recollect if it was something I did,
or could it have been something I said?
Was I just a terrible boyfriend?
or was I just awful in bed?

As she chased me and I ran,
I wondered what started this vicious spat
It suddenly struck me and then I remembered,
Oh yes... I called my girlfriend FAT.