If I could freeze a moment in time,
May it be the moment I lost him.
The frame where his love and lust turned to dust
Faster than a shooting star,
And more painful than realizing for the first time
That wishes do not come true.
So I can study the look of his face
When his façade fades,
And anger becomes all too real.
So when my therapist asks how I am,
I will be able to see the face, his face,
Of unforgiving, furious forlorn
In the ink bruises blotched on the card.
Funny that my first word was “ink”
And my first love was the face frowning in the flecks of it.
Freeze the frame I lost him
For, then I will not fall for it in the future
Trying to stitch someone together
So they can simply snip the ties
That once held me in one piece.
And maybe the reason hugs feel right
Is because each is a thread
Building stronger, binding my lost pieces tight,
Back to where they belong on my body.
Freeze the frame I lost him
So he will stand beside me once more
Before I forget how his hands felt
Around my waist.
Because I only feel the burn of them
Around my throat,
Stealing my breath away
A different style than before.

Freeze the frame I lost him
Until I realize that I did not lose him-
He lost me.