Sad, distroyed, upset I am
Pain, memories are getting stronger than they were
Monsters, demons are coming alive once again
Oh no...
Here goes to the past I once lived in...

I'm thinking bad thoughts
Thoughts about hurting my self like I did in the past
Great... It's starting
I'm in pain crying
I need help!
I'm taking to many steps back!

I want to feel the blood dripping down my arm as I scream and holler in pain!
I want to tear my skin apart and start new scars that would appear once again!
STOP!
I want to start making myself throw up like I did in the past
Not to make me skinny, but for the pain it gives me when I'm too under weight!
Please stop...
I want to do something dangerous that would put me in the hospital for months!
Please don't say it...please stop...
I want to die! Please by anything at all! I want my body all ****** and my guts to be everywhere, but it has to be a painful death!
(Crying)

I want the pain to come alive again because I deserve it...
I DESERVE IT!