I remember the first time I wished I didn’t have to live.

I remember where I was.

I was outside my house. Next to the driveway.

I was thinking about how much I hated school.

How much I hated not being able to be free.

How much I hated not being able to be outside.

I loved mother nature and I wanted simply to be and to love her.

I hated that I was trapped. I hated that I was trapped for 12 years.

I knew this number. 12. Years.

I had only been alive for 6.

Twice my lifetime I would have to be stuck at a desk performing menial tasks.

I thought I would never be able to survive this disconnection from the wonder I experienced when I sat outside.

I remember this.

Vividly.