it hurts when he looks at me like that
smacks a scarlet S on my forehead
doesn't see I'm broken
no, I've got a frayed soul
black holes burned through by cigarettes of past lovers
from druggards like him
I still tug the ashes over my bruised shoulder
and my tired heart hardly protests
imprisoned in nostalgic melancholy
he doesn't know how I fall hard like the disgraced angel
how I'm scarred and buried under the blizzard over and over again bleeding into the frost how I try and stop myself from the perpetuating pain from circling down the same track into oblivion gasping for sweet air grasping for the stair handles only to slip even further
and I can't.
I can’t stop myself.
because I crave the rush
addicted since the first drag when my lips touched his in naïve affection
and the aftermath
it’s an apocalypse…
I'm sorry if I burned him
or you
my fingertips
my warmth
my love
it's a raging fire
desperate for oxygen
I hold on tight and let go fast
I'm sorry
in advance