I want to cry.

I'm sad.

I want to die.

I'm not the person,
I so badly want to be.
I'm capable of being
someone better; but you see...
I don't try.
I'm disappointed in myself
because I look in the mirror & lie
to myself everyday, falsely assuring
myself that I'm content and alright.
But I want to play the guitar,
sing, dance, draw; anything but fight
a battle I don't try enough to win.
I want to cook, be pretty, smile,
be perfect & popular, but while
I sit here, wistfully typing and wishing,
my chances to change are slowly finishing.