You hate the sound of your own voice
Too manic to make a ******’ choice
Trapped in your head
Can’t get out of  bed
Cold like you’re dead
You don’t know what you want
Jealous of the girls and how they flaunt
You want to be just like that
But you think you’re too fat
So you try to be zef
Scared to tell people you’re a little more than deaf
A little thought like this
Is death’s sweet kiss
Comatose for hours
Fretting and crying
Scorching hot showers
Sick of denying
You hate your own existence
Wish you could stop the resistance
Stop Hell’s persistence
Reach for social assistance
Hiding away in sleep
Wishing dream boys would keep
Scared by your daddy
Fukin stuck way back then
Tellin’ yourself you a fatty
Meditating-you think you’re so ******* zen
But you’re throwing things
And screaming sins
And sawing down your wings
Pretending you’re wearing different skins
Just to cope
With having no hope
You’ll ever get better
You’ve made your own fetter
And you have no ****** idea
How to live as a whole human
Shaky hands never made a stria
Permanently in ruin
An evercrashing mistake
You feel there’s so much at stake
You don’t know where to begin
So you just stand so ****** still
Spending every day ill
Wishing someone would touch your cold hand
And finally understand
That when it comes to this blockage
You’re an already dead hostage.