I miss You,

but there is no making you understand this,

you're parting at coffee shops,

  playing chess and into this new age internet dating

where them nasty easy girls will always win,


I've not made it easy for you

and we never really said good bye,

everyone says forget about me

and what we once were trying to be.

I wont argue or disagree, my faults are my own

and I'll never continue to allow them to consume me,

or allow the past to make belief our future couldn't have been bright.

We could of worked on us.

Dead babies borne by a misleading husband to wife.

We could of fought harder,

yet,  it was too easy for you to let go...

I've not mourned-  their loss or the loss of you,

I pretend  sad as it may be,  

that you weren't even real.

I've conjured you up in dreams long since past,

sitting looking out my window,

watching children play....

My soul cries out for what would of been ours,

a red-brown hair child looking like you and me

a girl playing with her optimistic twin  brother
as I day dream

I see your crocked smile & the eyes of what would of be our child.

I have to fake like I've never known your love,

as if your a ghost,

well seems to me it's come to this,

I hate how I still reach for you at night

and sometimes

my belly where they've used to be.

I'll hold on to the good we had

and allow myself to feel only the positive memories.

Maybe one day you'll look back fondly on us

and say its time to come home
and be my husband again.

This time we'll do things so completely different ....

reality is this is a fleeting wish a unrealistic dream.

MY UNANSWERED PRAYERS.

Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
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