Is it your friend again?
I couldn't look at him for fear he would know that you weren't a friend, you were so much more. But I just shrugged and kept looking down.
Are you stressed?
Oh yes, everything stresses me now. Eating, sleeping, even homework that is so easy makes no sense to me now. I've skipped every possible class I could in the past few weeks, maybe that's why I'm starting to fail a few.
Do you want to talk about it?
I look up and say "No, not really." And he sighed. Why can't I just admit it?
I know what will make you happy!
He smiles as he pulls out some college books and statistics. UC Berkeley and MIT are among them, waiting for me in the palms of his hands.
Very slim, but you're incredibly smart and incredibly weird. I know you could get into Berkeley if you tried!
Maybe, but there is a 35% chance of me getting into there, and a 10% chance of me getting into MIT. My odds are so slim...
Well I'll just leave you to looking. We can look at other schools with the major you would like to go into, okay?
Yes, okay, sounds fine.
The clock ticks away,
And I miss yet another test,
And another panic attack,
And another chance to scream what I've been wanting to for awhile.
Looks like the bell is about to ring, do you need anything? I can help you go to wherever you need to go.*
I'm not even sure where I'm going anymore.
I just know I want to draw rainroad tracks across my wrist and to feel my ribs once again.