White.
All around me,
Everything I see--
White.

Blinded by lights,
Brighter than the sun,
Iridescent and reflected by
all of the
White.

A sickly woman in a nightgown.
A set of tubes.
"Breathe through your nose."

A series of small bites
in a location that I can't find.
And then the scream of some horrid machine,
Like the scream of an insolent child.

A large,
violent pain is radiated.
The smell of burning is the same as its taste.

Curled toes,
Tense muscles,
Wet eyes.
"Are you okay?"

More drugs.

Eyes closed,
everything moves at a slow pace,
as if I'm simply watching it happen
from a stool in the corner.

Writhing,
the sound of crunching bones
somewhere in my head.
"Just breathe through your nose."
Yeah.
Okay.

A hand pulls a string,
but I don't feel anything.
Like a puppet doing its master's bidding,
so I obey and succumb to this disembodied hand.

Slowly I am lifted
from the dream world I am in.
Bright lights fade,
I am reborn as a helpless child.

But I have legs just the same as you.
I can ******* walk,
so let me walk.
Don't you see?
Those drugs don't make me incapable of handling myself.

...Or do they?

"Don't stand up so fast."
Don't worry.
I know the limitations of this new person.
But the taste of blood reminds me of who I was.

And going back is equally as scary as going forward.