I think The best metaphor for you Is my little Honda that barely functions. I poured time and money Oil and sweat and passion Into machinery nearly as old as i am Just to get it to run. Every time it breaks down I instantly show up ready to fix it, Pouring all my energy into it. The thing is, I spend more energy on it Than the amount of joy or convenience it ever gives back. We have a few good times every once in a while. But then itβs another broken valve. Another communication vehicular breakdown.