B e a u t y

I have discovered a different meaning of that word
I catch myself
Staring
Sometimes

Like I've never seen a door hinge or a pebble before
They tend to
Catch me
Off guard
Nowadays

These words are so *beautiful when you read them softly
Like I used to
Read your lips
While you
Whispered
In your
Sleep

U g l y

I now know how to define this word
It's the truth that I still
Catch myself
Creeping
On your
Facebook
Page

That I miss you

That I want nothing more
Than to erase everything
You are to me

That I want you

That I hate you for doing this to me
Nothing

Besides make me wonder why
You're still as beautiful as you always were
And I'm more ugly than I've ever been

The ugly truth is that I did this to myself
So I hide it in my new addictions
That only make me cough
Sleep, and feel like ****

And it's beautiful, this nothingness
Everything is read softly, the ground, the trees, the stars
I often catch myself staring at the ceiling or the walls
Like they are masterpieces

And you're beautiful, this nothingness
Catches me
Off guard
Sometimes,

That's when I think
Too *******
*******
Much

I catch myself off guard
And I think of you
While I put the
Writing on
The walls
That don't
Look
Back

" I l o v e y o u . " I write.

If somehow you see it scribbled in the dark above your bed
Or behind the sweaty face of some other, better man
Please just remember
Read it softly
Say it gently

Read it tenderly out loud
As if it still meant a ******* thing

I couldn't bear it if you don't