I can't allow myself to want you
But I need you here
Cause I'm afraid I'll disappear
At the hands of
The ego-driven
My enemies
And my fear

There once was a time when I believed an apocalypse was just a sunset
And the story always began with light
But now the Earth has turned into the Dark Forest
And I'm afraid to sleep at night
Cause my doctor gave me a big dose
And the dusk seems to bring Them closer
And my nightmares would scare the bravest ghost

I can't allow myself to need you
But I desperately want you near
Cause I'm afraid I'll disappear
At the hands of
A ruthless society
The consequences of mistakes
And the relentless fear

I wish
I could just disappear completely
In the arms of sleep
Or a miracle
That dissolves my outer shell
And sends my soul up into the deep

But I know
There will be
No story-book ending
I'm a special cause
That needs to be destroyed
I'm a wicked myth
So please don't try to befriend me
Even I can't defend me

Once the world was my playground
A place of smiles from strangers
Under ethereal streetlights
That highlighted muted words and soft touches
Now the world is a battle-field for my essence
A place of traps and landmines
Under sinister trees
That sway from a wretched wind

I have to face facts
Despite the holes in my memory
And the lack of information
They're waiting till the end to tell me
I have to relax
While they're taunting and harming me
While they're haunting and alarming me
I have to turn the other cheek

Cause this much darkness
This much misery
This much depression
This much anxiety
This much paranoia
This much erosion
This much anguish
This much despair
This much melancholy
This much dejection
This much isolation
This much heartbreak
This much pain
This much gloom
Means it's going to rain
Means I'll soon meet my doom
And I'm guessing I deserve it
Pour suffering over suffering
Despite the fact that I'm already overflowing
(But I must remember
That they probably are too)