I choose the lonely puppy cowering in the corner
I adopt the shivering stray
I carry the wolf collapsed on the road

I eat stale bread
burnt gluten free waffles
straight grapefruit juice
cinnamon on the tongue
pickle juice and
spicy foods that produce tears

I sit in the snow
in shorts and tank
I leave the curler in my hair too long
burning my stale hair always
I wash my hands until they bleed
I eat until I'm sick
I scream until my throat is raw

I wash myself
under scolding water
that leaves my back
acne ridden
itchy
and tomato red

I sleep until I'm disoriented
and sick
then I sleep some more

I cry rivers-
                 never just one tear

I dare not speak a word on my mind
I dare not speak the truth
homework pages blank
no strength to go to school
I dress too plain
or too crazy
too bulky
or too tight

playing Jenga with responsibilities
and never winning
drowning in being alive
but not really trying to swim.

I do everything too much,
or not at all
compensating
                            for
                                     a
                                              million
         ­                                                          different
                                                                ­                                 things.