i’m so ******* weird
from the time i could talk
i could never get the language just right
since the first time i walked
been stumbling and awkwardly fumbling along

a slow learner is what they called me
in the back offices of the training institutions
the doctors and teachers didn’t know what to do
but my experience was as true as any without solutions
wish i could find the best words to remind me of you

keep your eye on the ball
or sing the tune to your own songs
you never get the balance right or wrong
life’s as short as it is twice as long
driving around in a teenage mind looking for something to prove

we would draw pictures in art class in high school
most of the kids would paint flowers or attempt portraits
i would draw intense war scenes prophesizing the end to come
with underground bunkers and a militarized fortress
to harbor the last remaining scraps of humanity and my sanity

i’m so weird
they called it an autism spectrum disorder
but i wonder if i’m actually possessed by a demon
a love demon dancing out on the border
between insanity and the truth and the divine

i’m so ******* weird
i especially am slow
stumbling and tumbling toward the light
always right, always wrong, i know
since the day that i was born i’ve always been a slow learner and a loon

**originally posted on my blog at https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on January 8, 2015