I'm so sorry that I keep pushing you away. My chest tightens at the thought of being in love. I've been hurt so many **** times that it physically makes me sick to think about falling for someone again. God, you mean so much to me, but I have no idea how to show it. I'm scared. Terrified for that matter. I don't want to get hurt, but I don't want to lose you. You make me happy, but I can't show you. You make me feel again, but I won't tell you. Because of you, I genuinely smile, but I won't let you see. I just want to crawl under my covers and pretend I don't exist. I don't want to fall for you.