I've never been afraid to die.

If I am afraid of anything,
it is inadequate life.
I fear not holding to my ideals,
not being understanding, kind, compassionate.
I fear being overwhelmed,
permitting others to make my decisions.
I fear being untrue to who I am.

I don't fear death.
I don't fear people or life or
the dread that comes with it.
I fear being idle,
refusing to attempt building
an echo of my voice.
I fear not opening doors, making no
attempts rather than those which are vain.

I fear not keeping promises,
the commitments made to people,
be they deemed as real or fiction.

I fear not being young while I can,
not being an open spirit,
not being honest and centered
around only myself.
To die without making change,
an attempt.

I expect to die old, fulfilled;
to possess these years in
which I now live as photographs
on paper and text printouts.
Genuine recollections,
spread beyond myself and shared.

I wish to die known for my convictions,
whether they appease the masses
or my own compass.
I want to die knowing that I
loved and lost and found again.

I want to die old and grey and fragile
rather than young and pretty
and adhering to a false culture which
we swallow whole.

I've never been afraid to die.