Sitting at a cafe, spilling food on my scarf
Thinking of the things I didn't do so well

Feeling on a world that I created myself
And I am wondering why I made it so hard

I spent years not alone
I spent years making home

Years in my mind not my heart - now I know

Years feeling half, half of a whole
Years finding joy making up for it all

Watching as a waitress gives an unconscious smile
- watching and wishing it were mine

Understanding how I left my freedom behind
Feeling like I still didn't waste my time