i just want to smile like I used to in the darkness when you ran your hand up my spine and buried your fingers in my hair and pulled my mouth to meet your waiting lips in a kiss that set my soul on fire. i want to feel your hands on my skin as they leave burning trails across my lonesome heart, like a tattoo or a secret, something forbidden, something wanted with everything conceivable, available, tangible. i want to have your heart in my hands, against my chest so they can beat as one. i never told you how at home i felt as i lay there while we slept, your warmth against my back, your face buried against my neck. your hand was upon my stomach, but i felt your fingers on my heart, your lips on my soul, the fire in your eyes as we exposed everything to each other. i feel the sand slipping between my fingers; time does not cease, even if one begs and hopes, nor does it reverse itself to the whim of the broken hearted, we can only pursue that which is worthy of our proclamation, and if we can remain strong enough, and endure the hardship of loneliness, then perhaps time itself will cease for one blissful moment and life will finally seem to be on our sides.