I used to want to get drunk
to have some sort of momentary happiness
even if it would only last for a few hours
But I don’t want that anymore
I want real happiness
that stems from love and any form of security
I used to talk about choosing joy
when I had it
But when you have to choose
it's so much harder to favor it
Because it's more like grasping at straws
than making a choice
It's like staring at something you want so desperately
through a wall made entirely of glass
and I'm trying to break through
But I just end up with bruised fists
and ****** knuckles