When
I remember myself
As a young girl

There was no devilish
Smile hidden in a
Hair twirl

I didn't make my
Face blank
Hiding
Letting others
Use it as a
Clean slate

I didn't endlessly
Rebuild
Myself a wall
That was flawed
To continually fall

I didn't close
My eyes
In hopes
Reality would
Freeze if I
Didnt
Try

So

I think its fair
To not claim these
Darknesses
As things
That were always
Lurking in my heart

But instead
A habit
Of self induced
Temptation
The most innocent
Protection
Rip yourself apart
Nobody will want
To taste if you're
****


I was free
And now
I want to
Be