It has been four years,
Today.

I am still scared that I will forget
Your voice
Your eyes
Your laugh
Your frown
Your anger
Your beard
Your hugs
Your quirks
Your expressions.

I still talk to you...
Thank you,
**** you,
Call on you for help.

You would love Him..
He reminds me of you sometimes,
His stubbornness, his boyishness,
His opinions, so different from my own,
His beautiful heart,
so carefully tucked away.
I know you'd be so proud of me,
Of my new life, new house..
So proud of your grandkids -
My God they're getting so big, Dad.
I wish they had gotten to know you better.

Sometimes I wish this was easier,
That today was just a day.

But mostly I'm glad
That it's been four years
And I can still hear you,
And feel you near,
And I can still remember you
And I still cry.