if the doomsday clock has gotten closer to midnight, shouldn't i live my life like it's only mine?

i understand there are people here who love me, and i love them too, but there's just so much to see and so much to do. if i feel like leaving, if you truly love me you should be okay with that. if i disappear and go out into the world and experience things and follow my passions and where my heart takes me, i think that's okay. if the world is ending so soon, i want to have done everything that i can do to rid myself of the complete darkness i have been engulfed in for seventeen years. i want to experience new people, places, and things.

it would never be goodbye because everyone i love would always still be a part of me, a part of my heart, and i would eventually return.

but i am young, and i have until the clock strikes midnight to make my mistakes, to fail, to learn, to grow, to experience. i have never in my entire life considered staying in arkansas, i have never considered being normal, i have never considered growing old with someone, i have only known that i expect above average, and a love within myself and everyone else.

i am young as said before, a seventeen year old girl who is wise for my age, but i know i'm not as wise as i'd like to think i am sometimes. i want to experience different places, i want out of here. i believe i should not be held back and i will not be held back when i turn 18.

you see, there's something waiting for me on a beach by the sea, there's something in that air that will set me free and i need to inhale it, i need to exhale everything that's trapped inside of me, i need to be free.

i need to be free. i need to be free. i need to see the real me.
here's to eighteen and 2015.