do you see me?
transparent but still two-toned.
conviction served with a side of dripping doubt.  

I hear your voice fill up the hallway.
3 years later and I realize
I missed it the entire time.
like a song I forgot I liked.
Always loud but indifferent
you exchange hollow hugs
and I check my hair in the bathroom mirror.

smile 1
no smile 2
no smile 1
Calculated Coquetry.  

oh.
you look the same.
but sexier.
Tinged by tribulations I don’t yet know.
I feel curious
and alone.

I wish
I’d worn
a different shirt.
My underarms bleed
evidence of insufficient accolades.
Tiny knots of bright red fabric
build beneath my body’s brutal bane  

A brief moment of exuberance.
but could this instant just be fraudulent?
I swear to god you hugged me longer
held me tighter
heard my hunger.

did you see me?
open-ended and unwritten.
T’d up to be submissive.

It took two nights
& endless drinks.
An elongated walk
& high school tricks.

1 year since 3 ago.
I sigh and contemplate your
shaky hands on the zipper of my favorite jeans
your ***** sheets and desperate pleas.
Who was I kidding?
undo my blouse and strip me bare.
I always liked this song.