After we broke up I decided
I am a shell
Not the kind you can pick up
And hear the song of waves
Crashing down on shores
Right in your eardrums
But the kind of shell that is nothing.
The kind that sits and breaks and makes no sound
The kind that fills itself with other things and still never quite feels whole
I am a shell who silently lets people hide in me
Who lets myself become a home for the abused
I never make a sound
I only wear down and crumble
I body for the weak and troubled
I love and grow attached and make no sound
When I remember I am just a shell, I let you leave
I let you leave and I even pushed you out
Even with you hiding in me I was empty
When we broke up I realized I was always this empty
You hear no oceans in me
No waves sound off inside of me
I have always been this
I have always been this quiet
This unimportant, this passive, this tired
I am a doorway to better things than me
To shells that sound
To waves that crash
To oceans vast and wide and full
That's okay
I'm glad that you will be able to hear the sounds next time
I'm sorry I never made any