THE LOOKING UP PART OF ME, FROM NIRVANA


YA SEE MY LOOKING UP WAS CAUSED BY ME, TO THINK ABOUT OTHERS, DON’T DRNK

TOO MIUCH COKE, DRINK A LITTLE BUT NOT TOO MUCH, AND IF YOU GET THE LOOKUPS

JUST TRY AND RELAX, YA SEE, WITH MY HATING GARDENING, IS BECAUSE I WAS HAVING CHILDHOOD VISIONS

WHEN I WAS WORKING, I LIKED JUMPING ON THE TREES, BUT IT WAS MY ONLY

THING I LIKED ABOUT WORKING AT NORTHSOUTH CONTRACTORS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE LOOKUPS

STARTED IN 2005, FROM THE RISPERIDAL, MIND YOU IT REALLY FRUSTRATED ME

AND IT IS FRUSTRATING ME NOW, I AM FINDING IT HARD, TO GET THE PROBLEMS OUT OF

MY HEAD, YOU SEE, IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE I WASN’T GETTING THE JOB I WANT OUT OF IT

OR IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN, WHEN I WENT TO BED AT 9.30 PM, I HATED THAT

IT MADE ME SICK AND TIRED OF WORKING IN THE SAME JOB OVER AND OVER AGAIN

I COULD’VE STOPPED, THEY DIDN’T HOLD A GUN TO MY HEAD, BUT

REALLY I FOUND IT HARDER AND HARDER, TO RID THIS EVIL DEMON

THAT WAS MAKING ME LOOK UP, DAY IN AND DAY OUT

AT PRESENT I WAS FINDING IT REALLY DIFFICULT TO GET MY MIND TOGETHER

AND I WAS HAVING PROBLEMS, WITH TRYING TO LOOK STRAIGHT LIKE I AM DOING NOW

I FOUND IT HARD TO SEE THE MANY THINGS THAT LIFE PULLS IN FRONT OF YOU

I REMEMBER DRINKING WITH SCOTT FROM NORTHSOUTH CONTRACTORS.AND EVERY

MOUTHFUL I HAD, I FELT THE BEER WAS CLENSING MY SPIRIT, I ALSO HAD NUMEROUS BEERS

WITH STEVE AT THE WIGAN PEN, WHICH WAS WHERE THE ENGLISH BEERS WAS, AND

I REMEMBER TELLING THE BARMAN, THAT NANNA DIED, AND HE SHOWED SYMPATHY, NOW

THE WIGAN PEN IS NO MORE, I REMEMBER BUYING SOME POTATO CRISPS AND WASH THEM

DOWN WITH A NICE COLD BEER, I MADE MUM MAD AND AS I WAS GOING TO THE POOL, SHE

SQUIRTED ME WITH THE HOSE, I HATED THAT, BUT I ALSO REMEMBER EATING POTATO CHIPS

AND HAVING BEERS TO WASH THEM, DOWN AT THE CITY CLUB AS WELL, THE MEER FACT

I STOPPED DOING ALL THIS, WAS THE REASON WHY I STARTED LOOKING UP, CAUSE I WAS

TRYING TO IMPROVE MYSELF, WHICH DIDN’T WORK FOR ME, SO I WENT BACK TO WATCH

FOOTY DOWN THE CLUB, ESPECIALLY THE GRAND FINAL, TO HOPEFULLY LOSE THE GIDDY

FEELING OF LOOKING UP, MY MATE SAID I HAD A BRAIN TUMOUR, BUT EVEN IF IT WAS

I DIDN’T FEEL ANY ADNORMALITIES, WITH LOOKING UP, YA SEE, A GOOD TELLING OF A STORY

HOW EVERY TIME I WENT TO SOMEONE’S HOUSE, I TRIED TO BE A MANS KID, YA KNOW

THE COOL MENS KIDS ON THJE STREET, I WAS FUCKEN UNEDUCATED, YOU SEE I MADE

UP THE ESTABLISORY COURT TO TEASE A GOOD MATE, BUT THERE IS A LOT OF YOUR STILL

NOT A COOL KID, BRIAN, PROBABLY, ONCE I NEVER TOLD A LIE, BUT THAT GOT ME IN HOT WATER

WITH THE BIG CHEESE, AND NOWADAYS, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TELLING LIES

TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES, YOU SEE I HEAR MY MATE PAT

BLUDGING ON ME, LIKE I BLUDGED ON DAD, OR LIKE DAD TRIED TO BLUDGE ON ME

I WAS HEARING VOICES, STOP BLUDGING COWARD, KEPP BLUDGING ON HIM BRIAN SURE MATE

YOUR NOT LIKE US ANYMORE DAD, YA SEE DAD ONLY SAID, YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY WHEN

THEY REALLY LIKED MY PARTY STYLE, AND LATELY, IT’S BECAUSE I DO POETRY SLAMS AND

PLAYS, AND TRYING TO BEAT THE VOICES THE KIDS PUT IN MY HEAD, I LIKED THOSE KIDS

BUT I WANT TO BE MY OWN PERSON, I HAD DRINKS WITH SCOTT AND STEVE, IN FACT ME AND STEVE

GASPARIC WENT TO WORK HAD A FEW BEERS AND WENT HOME TO WATCH THE FOOTY, HE WAS

NICE, CAUSE MY MEDICATION MADE ME SLEEP, AND I WOKE HIM UP, TO TELL HIM THE SCORE

I REMEMBER TEASING DAD WITH THE YOUNG DUDES, I WAS SAYING, YOUR NOT LIKE ME DAD

WHILE OTHERS SAID, HANG ON YEAH FOOL, GET ****** MATE, AND YES THEY DID SOME STUPID THINGS

BUT ALL YOUNG DUDES DO STUPID THINGS, I REMEMBER DAD COMING DOWN TO KICK THE PEOPLE

OUT OF MY HOUSE, FOR PRACTICING THEIR BANDS AT MY HOUSE, IT’S NOT CALLED FOR IN A SUBURBAN HOUSE

IT CAN WAKE TOO MANT PEOPLE UP, YA SEE DUDES, IT IS FUN, BUT THE AFTER EFFECTS, ARE NOT SO FUN

SITTING IN THE GUTTER, ALL BECAUSE YOU INVITED A FEW BANDS TO PERFORM, I THOUGHT MY PARENTS WOULD LIKE

THIS, THEY SEEMED TO LET MY BROTHER DO IT, SO WHY CAN’T I, I WANT MATES MY OWN AGE, JUST BECAUSE DAD

IS DEAD, DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T GO ON LIVING MY LIFE, AS OPPOSED TO WAITING FOR YOUR NUMBERS TO BE UP

I WANT TO DO MANY THINGS BEFORE I DIE, I WANT TO AT LEAST GET A HOMELESS HOTEL STARTED, AT LEAST, OK

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR VOICES OF THE PAST TREATING ME LIKE A YEAH MATE YEAH KID, I WAS A MAN WHO LOVED TO

PARTY, AND SMELL THE NICE CLEANSING ALE OF BEER, I REMEMBER GOING TO SCOTTS FOR A NIGHT STOP, TO GET

AWAY FROM MY PARENTS, AND THE VOICES IN MY HEAD, SHOWED MY REALLY NICE FLOPSY BODY, WHO USED TP

SMILE AT PEOPLE WEIRDLS, AND ANOTHER THING TOO, I WAS LIKE A TEN TONNE WEAKLING ALL BECAUSE I HATED VIOLENCE

I CALLED IT A NEW VERSION OF A YOUNG DUDE, YA KNOW SITTING THERE SMILING, WITH A FEEL OF SAUSAGES AND VERY

TENDER LAMB CHOPS, YA SEE AT SCOTTS WE HAD HOT DOGS DONE BY US ADULTS, AND I REMEMBER WATCHING THE SIMPSONS

WITH THEM SAYING, HEY HOT DOG, AND MY YOUNG DUDE WAS A HOT DOG, LIKE, WITH A REAL OLD FASHIONED GIRL LIKE SMILE

I WAS SMILING AT PEOPLE, ALL BECAUSE, I WAS TRYING TO BE COOL ENOUGH TO TALK TO THEM, I COULD’VE IGNORED THEM

BUT I HAD TO FACE IT, I AM A YOUNG DUDE, AND ALL MY MISTAKES, ARE BECAUSE I WAS YOUNG, AND EXPERIMENTING

WITH A LOT OF THINGS, I REALLY LIKE THE FEEL OF STILL BEING YOUNG, BUT DUDES, LISTEN TO THIS SONG OF YOUTH

STRIP FOR ME BABE STRIP FOR YOU, STRIP FOR YOU IF YOU WANT ME TOO

STRIP FOR ME BABE STRIP FOR YOU, STRIP FOR ME, LIKE THEY WANT YOU TOO

AND ONE NIGHT IN BABGKOK, AND WHEN THEY SAID, WHAT DO YA MEAN, WE POLLUTE ONE CRAZY STINKEN TOWN

I GET MY KICKS ABOVE THE WAISTLINE

I HEAR VOICES OF PEOPLE SAYING, LET HIM BE A YOUNG DUDE BUDDY

AND THEN SAID, I AM NOT A YEAH MATE YEAH KID, TEASE HIM, TEASE HIM TEASE HIM

AND THEY MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS A HOOLIGAN, AND I AM NOT A HOOLIGAN

AND THEN THEM VOICES SAY TO ME, STAY UP THERE YA STINKING YEAH MATE YEAH KID

THEY SAID, STAY THERE, YA STUPID OLD FOGIE

GET IN THERE, YA STUPID KOOMARRI MAN

NEVER MUCK WITH US AGAIN, YOU STUPID LITTLE CHILDISH RAT

WE DON’T LIKE YOU ANYMORE BRIAN, CAUSE, YOUR NOT A MAN

WE WANT TO KEEP THESE LOOK UPS IN YA, YA STUPID LITTLE ****