Maybe we are doing it wrong
every time we start talking
you ask me how i am
and i have to face that impossible choice
lie, and make you happy?
or use honesty to tell you how ****** up i am

'how are you?'
'well, i'm good.
I still cry myself to sleep but at least
i haven't be tempted to cut myself today.
I'm doing fine.
It's just the case my heart feels so heavy i fear my body may collaps.
And then an awkward smile, and us trying to get back to normal conversation.

Next time, we meet,
don't ask me.
Let me ask you instead.
'How am i?'
and you just tell me what you said today:
'you're okay.'
Because in a way, i am.
And if you repeat it to me every day,
i will start to believe that.