I know this is a place for poems but night is a hard night and I'm trying to fight through it for my love ones, when really I want to walk right over to the corner and end it all. But, so many people tell me I have so much more to live for when others tell me to leave and that I'm worthless. I showed up today at school with fresh cuts and many people stared while others asked why? And as they ask that I ask Why Not? So here is just a little bit of what I'm feeling tonight? But I'll be okay?





“Why?’ She nods. ‘She had everything: a family who loved her, friends, activities. Her mother wants to know why she threw it all away?’ Why you want to know why? Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and falls off, roll in coarse salt, then put on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight.
Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and ***** and ***** and worst of all ‘A disappointment.’ Puke and starve and cut and drink because you need an anesthetic and it works. For a while. But then the anesthetic turns into poison and by then it’s too late because you are mainlining it now, straight into your soul. It is rotting you and you can’t stop. Look in a mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everything single thing is wrong with you. ‘Why?’ is the wrong question. Ask ‘Why not?”