I just want one of those forbidden romances where you'll sneak out together and drive along a back road and listen to songs that tug your heart strings and sing at the top of your lungs. God, I want that so bad. I'm willing to wait for it, but ****. I've been waiting for too long.

No you don't. Because when it all comes crashing down all you have is a sea of memories and no one to tell them too because it was "forbidden" in the first place. You feel sick by looking at your body in the mirror. Their touches burned into your skin, the images seared on your mind. It's not glamorous. It's not tasting him in your cigarettes or empty beds in lovely little hotels. It's not rainy afternoons where the air wraps around you like he did or cups of coffee the color of his eyes. It's just a lot of shaking and crying and hyperventilating and blood. The words i love you* will never come out the same. They leave you clutching at your chest and clamoring down the hall just for some air. They leave you empty. They twist around your body and cut off your blood circulation. Forbidden romance is a fine fantasy. But keep it there because it isn't reality and will never be able to exist. Save yourself the time and just read a book about it.