The meeting of the minds is taking place in a booth in the back corner or the pub with those beer nuts you like so much
The Cheapskate The Peddler The Chiseler The Swindler And The Big Shot
Originally it was supposed to just me the Big Shot and the Peddler Then the Chiseler squirmed his way into the scheme Since three was already a crowd no one protested to the company of the Swindler and The Cheapskate
"Around of scotch for my homies!" says The Big Shot to the barmaid The Cheapskate turned pale and whispers into The Big Shot's ear
"Four scotches and a tap water!" The Big Shot called out
The last time these five character went in on something together it turned into a huge power struggle
The Big Shot got too big for his britches The Swindler tampered with the numbers As he and The Chiseler blamed the blame game While the Peddler was managing the tensions and just trying to get all he could off his hands And the Cheapskate putting as little as he could in to get as much as he could out of the whole thing
Those were their salad days Wheeling and dealing What a shame they never came out clean At all Such a shame
But this time they will not repeat the trauma They're in it to win it The sweepstakes scam of the century TheΒ feel good moment
They all knew none of them got along But they had to get on with it
The plan was intricate First the Chiseler would take every love letter intended for a physicist Then rewrite in as a hate note Upon reading the phony expression of disdain The physicist would dive into his work to get his mind off it And develop his studies of String Theory
Then The Swindler would buy the theory from the broken hearted egghead with the money The Peddler made from selling the spinning squares that make a dizzying circle he got at wholesale from his guy in Cairo
The Cheapskate would then gather a few undesirables from the abandoned paper factory and have them ransack The Physicist's lover's house and hold at gun point to have her cough up a few of her ***** little secrets which include the fact she had been sleeping with The Big Shot
The Big Shot would at that point step in and end things with the Physicist's Lover and tell her it was because she could even protect the material things she owned Which made him question if she could guard and protect his heart
So The five masterminds would have the rights and royalties to The Physicist's String Theory, his lover's every last belonging, The Peddler's wacko drugs and his connection and a few of The Lover's unmentionables Plus the Big Shot gets to get laid
Not bad for five guys who couldn't get along
And not a single cop out or snide remark thrown
Thusly it was agreed upon with a five-way spit hand shake that if anything would happen that could incriminate any of them, The Swindler would answer for everything with his feet on the ground Because the Chiseler had Plan B which involved a jailbreak