Be the person to change my mind?
No, no--I don't even really know what that means
But that phrase just flickered through my head.
My mother constantly holds her breath
"It must be genetic" we all say at the lunch table
Our dialects so ******* thick you could slice through them
Like sweet honey butter
Our eyes closed in unison, prayers before the lord
I'm the black sheep who slightly rolls my eyes
We all sigh. Let out that exhalation.

I think you and I could talk about anything.
And it scares me to be intoxicated
But God, I miss you being on top of me.
A fantasyland we can create, I see the colors and fabrics so vividly
Lets play make believe, with cotton candy grins and candy cane
Stained mouthes, I wish I could place my mouth....
Fly me to a place I have never known?
I think I could beat you at a game of chess
But I don't even know how to play.

Its New Years Eve today.
Big ******* 2015 and thank God, thank God
Close our eyes in unison.
I remember drinking out of the sink in the fancy country club bathroom
This time last year.
A platinum girlfriend and I took a million pictures
I nearly missed the countdown
But flung myself onto the dance floor at the last beat, my 2014 stupid fake glasses
A gentleman grabbed me by the waist
As we pranced right in front of the band
Belligerence was my middle name that night
And a little bitterness mixed with immense freedom
But everyone told me I looked just like
Zelda Fitzgerald
That New Years Eve night.

Hot green tea and tight braids
Photograph me if you want to keep me
An older man told me once that he thought he should chase me
I remember looking at my reflection and shaking my head
Like the Betrayer once shook his head
And I felt myself covered in weary sighs and a wetness from my face
And thinking, "this cannot be my own."

I have two days left in the ***** filthy South
So lets make it ******* count.
Bullet whiskey and love on my arm
You have to learn how to hold yourself
To release into the depth of another.


Confetti looks its best as it is falling from the air.