Even when knowing yourself
that you were in the wrong
the initiator of burden
was you all along

Guilt so relenting
words can't describe
what it is you're lamenting
what you did
embibe

A durrator of pain
placing love under siege
an addiction of betrayal
even on anniversary
this day,
New Years Eve

An easy escape
from this world may suffice
a permanent cape
thrown over your life

At no time before
have I felt more certain
to pull one last time
my final life's curtain

If I look at results
I know I the Loser
in these games of love
I played the snoozer

Took it for granted
played with life strings
thought I was clever
now my ache sings

Could ration the reason
make it quick, do emplor
no matter the season
limit the gore

And yet I live
because I've been here before
by the choices I've made
and I'll choose some more

This time personal problems
needing endless satiation
will learn and thus do
delayed gratification

Not just at love
but in all that is layered
family, friends, work, dog
successes made
by a life prepared

There will always be scars
life is fight from begining
to expect anything less...
     ...that's a life not worth living