i call them at two in the morning
im crying
"why'd you wake me up i'm not in the mood"
"im sorry it won't happen again"
they text me
"we need to talk"
my heart stops my throat tightens
my mind wanders to the pills in the bathroom cabinet
my heart is heavy
my lungs need so badly
just to ******* sleep
~
onto the next
and it's always the same
person after person
over and over
"im sorry it won't happen again"  
they text me
"we need to talk"
my heart stops my throat tightens
my mind wanders to the pills in the bathroom cabinet
my heart is heavy
my lungs need so badly
just to ******* sleep please let me sleep
i can't do this any longer
~

i get a call from you at two in the morning
you're crying
"i'm sorry"
"no baby. don't you dare say sorry. breathe. everything's okay. we're okay. i pinky promise"
and just as we're falling asleep together ill grumble in my sleepy voice
*"what's forever? i think i'm in love"