As the aches of sadness quake and shake me
I lie awake trying not make that mistake again
That mistake that left these holes in my skin
The mistake that cost me a lifetime of shame
The mistake that I'm still too embarrassed to claim
That mistake that forces me to cover with sleeves
That mistake that's so permanent and never leaves
That mistake I'd make when I just needed a friend
The mistake I said I'd never make again
Yet each time a tear drips past my chin
I remember the chair I used to sit in
I'd remember the edge pressed on my wrist
I think of the hand balled in a fist
I think of me thinking of dropping the edge
I think of me thinking of jumping the ledge
I remember that I would choose to press deep
I think of the blood and how it would seep
I remember how warm it was as it fell
If it was blood or tears, how I couldn't tell
I think of the night I trashed the edge
And to myself I made a pledge
From this night on if sadness quakes
And upside down my world shakes
Then I will bow down on my knees
And ask the Lord for purity, please
So now when I'm sad, the mistakes not an option
I vowed to God and I know he's watching