Are you alive? Or just breathing?
To judge whether I'm alive or just simply breathing is significant.
For seasons I've been heaving through corrupt lungs,
trying to find the little piece that will save me.
I've been breathing for as long as I can remember.
Maybe this drowning will subside and I can finally be alive.
Months have made me more alive.
Each day living and feeling everything. Alive feels so free and up lifting.

But here I am again.
Questioning in this very moment whether I'm alive or just breathing. And I think at this point I'm just trying to make my chest rise through the night.
It feels so good to be alive.
I just want to get back to the me that never had to remind myself to breathe.

I want it to be an automatic and harmonious inhale of life.

-a.