Before I met you, I never knew what it felt like to look at someone and smile. To be happy just because someone is in my presence. I read somewhere the human heart beats approximately 4,000 times per hour. and if I had to guess, I would say 3,999 of those beats are spent on your laugh and your smile. The way the lines that form at your eyes look like our future together. how your freckles spell out 'i love you' just in case I ever started to doubt you. that one extra heartbeat I save for the moment you touch me because I know once you let go I will miss you so much I will end up sinking into oblivion. when I lay in bed at night I start to see the outline of your body the car headlights form a shadow on my wall. I hear the sound of your voice every time I flick the light switch and most nights I stand leaning against the wall continuously turning the light on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off. I've started sleeping with the phone next to my pillow just in case you call. you're the only one I want answering the phone as if hearing someone else's voice could bury me six feet under. I barely get out of bed anymore and it's not because I'm tired or lazy but because I've been digging my body into my mattress to try and feel your warmth. when you lie awake at night, unable to sleep I hope you think of me and know I've been trying to go to bed but I can't make it past the light switch.