Will you reach for the stars
When you're still on the ground?
Will you keep dancing
When you no longer hear sound?
Will you still love
Though your spirit is torn?
Will you still smile
When you're sad and forlorn?

*You were made to reach for stars
You cannot see,
Made to keep dancing
Though a dancer you'll never be.
Designed to love
When all hope is lost,
And to smile
Even with a heart full of frost.

maybe, like writing in sand-
our feelings may wash away in
intermittent rain and satiated tide
filled with rough seashell and friendly fish.
maybe, in the nights
where the moon is hidden-
we simply close our eyes to the light
and lie to our incoherent minds
that we were deserted,
and no longer loved
merely to gain some sort of
melancholic self pity.
maybe, our senses
are blind to the most obvious,
to the situations which love us
and people who leave us.

Only a wee child.
A tiny little girl.
Oblivious to the world
And its swarm of monstrosities.

She yawned
And he glanced over,
Realising that it was time for her nap.
Her parents had gone out
And she was under his care
Under his wing
Trusting him
A little too much.
He tucked her into bed.
And snuggled in next to her.
She tossed and turned,
Trying to sleep.

But dreamland
Was a little more out of reach than it usually was.
"Want to try something?"
He asked, voice all regular.
Her eyes stared up at him
Sleepy yet curious.

He told her not to look underneath the blanket.
There was movement.
She trusted him,
she trusted him.
Then she felt her belly touch the blanket.
And her bottom exposed
As her ******* was pulled down.

What came next was a shock.
She did not know
Did not understand.
She was a child!
It was there.
Rubbing
Cold
Different
Eerie
She shivered in
What was it, delight?
7 years later she hoped it wasn't.

Snapping back to reality;
Pushing the questions to the back of her mind,
She glanced under the covers
And got a rough pull.
He scolded her.
She was scared.
She did not cry.
She needed to ***.
What was going on?

She could not sleep.
She was curious.
She was scared.
Everything changed.
She wanted more.
She did not comprehend.

7 years later,
She found out.
She understood.
And it was painful.
It was traumatic.
And it left such a deep scar
That could never
Ever,
Be healed.

She was 5 years old;
He was 14.

It's 11 years later and it still haunts her.
**Why me?

The fragments of blood and tears litter the floor.
A small pile of hair and human beside it.
A girl once strong- no not anymore.
The fire that once sparked her heart no longer lit.
It was almost a dream that had once come true,
But none of it seemed real anymore.
Broken promises and lies of the things we do-
In that little pile of debris was where her spirit tore.

The monster inside,
She fights and she bites
Yet I don't feel a thing.

I can hear her screams of pure hatred,
Which almost seems like sweet nothings in my head.
Slowly, I breathe in; and so does she.
Despite being a beast in my head,
She acts like a regular person instead.
But I can't see her, no not yet,
I feel her breath next to mine.
Almost the same tempo;
So synchronised in time.
I inhale the sickly sweet scent
Of her smile.
The wind in her hair;
The drost in her soul.

I begin to smell,
The contempt in her eyes.
The evil, oh so bold.
And as all these senses
Merge into one-
She disappears.
Like a shadow fades into the light
Or a mighty devil scorned.

It almost feels like I'm free
Just for a moment.
Slowly, and gradually,
But it feels like it was in a split second.
The pain rushes back.
The realisation doesn't.
My senses resurrect from their numbness;
Ever so ploddingly
And I see
I see,
Her.
Looking right back at me,
As if she had been there for days, weeks, months,
An eternity.
Just, watching.
Waiting.
Ready to attack.
I look straight back into her eyes;
Barely breathing.
Barely smiling.
Barely feeling-
Anything at all.
It is then, the moons change and the stars shift
Feelings alter
And I feel something I seemed
Unable to fathom
Just a few moments ago.

Then,
I fear again.