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 Apr 2016 Pinky Quinones
HM
In Case
 Apr 2016 Pinky Quinones
HM
In case you come back
Remember all the times we had
And all the times you made me laugh
And try to remember the sparkle in my eyes I'd hoped you knew was yours

In case you come back
Take the time to think of old jokes
To the best ones, we almost choked
Remember all those empty rooms we turned into our escape

In case you come back
Remember all the dreams we had;
You in mine and I in yours.

Because in case you come back
I'll remember the times you've shut the door
How cold it was and how much I hurt

And in case you come back
I'll remember just how hard i fought
When all you did was turn your back
 Jan 2016 Pinky Quinones
HM
Funny
 Jan 2016 Pinky Quinones
HM
It's funny how my good days still remind me of you
And how the bad days have me rooting for you
Funny how i thought I've settled with myself
And how i thought there wasn't anything left of you in me
Funny how i want to have it all again
But throw up at the thought of taking you back
Shame how I've loved you with everything i had left
Funny how it was never enough
At least not for you

Funny how things end
Shame, what they leave behind
 Jan 2016 Pinky Quinones
HM
November
 Jan 2016 Pinky Quinones
HM
Ten months was not enough.
Not to drown myself into the same ocean.
Not to pick up the pieces.
Not even to throw them out.
Not even to heal.

Ten months is too short.
To find the parts that were lost.
To put them back together.
To drain all the anger.
To put it all behind.

It took 10 months to **** it all up and feign every ounce of "okay" and "happy" when the cold creeps up at 10 in the ******* evening, feeding the urge to jump into the same ocean.

I gave in after ten ******* months.
.
either you are creating problems where there are none,
or you are withholding the ways in which i can repair this.
i know you are hurting and you know you're being unreasonable,
but the difference is that i am trying to change these things
while you're holding onto them.
how do we start?
which ***** should we ****?
shall we start with the heart
or begin with the brain?
which emotion should we tackle first;
the painful ones
or the happy ones
that serve as reference points
and reasons to be angry
about being sad?
how shall we begin?
it's three in the morning
and i'm wanting
nothing
but
to feel
something
that's unfamiliar
like the heat of december.
in the beginning
she was sad.
she looked over the vast expanse of emptiness
inside her chest
and said to herself,
"i am sad"
so there was light.
every corner of her void
lit up with the haste of a light switch
flicking every bit of shadow outward
and revealing all the dark that light could not touch
and she saw this darkness that remained still
and said to herself,
"i am sad"
and so came the horizon.
a single line that divides drowning and flying
often blurred by sunrise and sunset
always gazed upon and set as a destination
but never quite reached
because she never learned how to swim
and so she made land.
she made contact with her feet
walking among the trees
that fell dreams in their forests with only her to hear them
and she heard them all.
calling her either too thin
or too thick
or too willing
or too undecided whether to gasp for air or grasp his hair
so she became the moon.
she orbited his world from above
surveying every shore and valley
shining light on those that would dare to look
up beyond their own realities and insecurities.
but as she looked around herself
she saw that the sky was bare
so she found her birds.
friends that would share the air around her
and let her breathe
with the wind from their wings
lifting her up beyond all that she thought she was
and she smiled a crescent moon and became what she forgot she was,
beautiful.
and finally,
she said to herself,
"i am glad."
the noise.
inside my head.
inside me.
the breathing.
my breathing.
i can't think over the sound of my own breathing.
it's loud.
i can't hear it.
i can't think over the sound of my own breathing.
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